Well another rant, another rave. Its funny I post so much more when i'm in fucking Kuwait, when I ain't got shit goin on, but when there was so much goin on, turmoil, mayhem and otherwise i couldn't write worth a shit. I figured the people that knew about my blog and would therefore respond to it were living there with me, and heard all of it therefore didn't need to post on a webpage their response.
Ah well. Anyways not much is going on. Pretty much all of us is gettin ready to sign up for various classes and shit for college and i'm tryin to join in, but when i get to thinkin of what i want to do with my life...or what i want to aim for i just don't know anymore. I was wanting to become a teacher. I figured there aren't enough positive male role models for the younger generations anymore and I would like to do my part for them. I mean i'm good with kids and want to be the one to help them learn. But now i'm just...blah...fucking blah. I don't know if i want to do that anymore...Than i've been tryin to write a novel now for what seems like forever, and i've written and rewritten and rewritten and i'm always getting stuck. I just don't have the motivation in my life like what i did when i started to actually put forth the effort with it anymore. Which sucks cause i don't know why. When i started it, i had just moved back in with my mom, was a few months away from doing the first signing with the Army, and pretty much i had secluded myself away from all my friends so i could try to clean myself up. So the only friends i had were the ones i hung out with on the internet...and i had done alot of writting and rewritting and sent it out to a couple to get their input and they would help me out, show me some editing errors help with ideas and direction every now and then, hell they were so much apart of the process it wasn't funny. Hell pretty much all the characters in the book was created after people i knew. But ever since i've left for the army i haven't had any motivation...i've had various other people that i've gone to to get help and see what they think and at first its all good, then it seems they just loose interest or they just never cared for it to begin with.
To hell with it i guess. I'm like so many thousands of miles away from...some type of home...i really don't know where to call it anymore. I don't know what i would want to do with my life, education wise...yeah. such internal drama. And yet i trench on. Playin face, actin like its all hunkey dorey. Anyways i gotta end this, back to work. Cleanin weapons at the moment.
Peace and Chicken greace
SONG OF THE MOMENT: SLIT WRIST THEORY ~ 36 CRAZYFIST
With the absence of eye, I can start to bleed again...
With the color of hearts it seems like you wear right thin
And as it falls from your mouth, it seems like youneeded it more
Well I can still ask for more, I will still ask for more...
Get the fuck out, stay the fuck out
It makes me sick (I'm alright)
Slit wrist theory, stains us all...
Lace me up, lace me up
I'm still looking for these angels in the snow
Lace me up, lace me up
I'm still looking for these angels in the snow
It seems like a runaround
Words that won't matter
And as it falls from your mouth it seems like youneeded it more
And I will color you all red, I will color you all...red
Get the fuck out, stay the fuck out
It makes me sick (I'm alright)
Slit wrist theory, stains us all...
Lace me up, lace me up
I'm still looking for these angels in the snow
Lace me up, lace me up
I'm still looking for these angels in the snow
Braided conversation
Get the fuck out, stay the fuck out
It makes me sick (I'm alright)
Slit wrist theory, stains us all...
And caved the fuck in, and bashed the fuck in, it's so old
Slit wrist theory, stains us all...
Slit wrist!
Lace me up, lace me up
I'm still looking for these angels in the snow
Lace me up, lace me up
I'm still looking for these angels in the snow
Lace me up...
posted by zefyur @ 2:08 AM,
