well much to my dismay my command has let me down yet again. shouldn't be anything new or suprising right? i mean thats what military commands do. they build their soldiers up, get their morale up to where they think it should be, then push them off a cliff to a bitter harsh reality.
not to delay much longer, the reason i say such is because i learned yesterday morning, that my command decided to loose my promotion packet, so i will not be able to attend this months promotion board.
thats right. lost my promotion packet. lost it. no ill feelings or sorries, or care from them, just a little email letting my nco know that they had no idea i would be attending this months board, because they haven't been able to find the packet we sent them (a month ago, and they just now let us know).
well isn't that just nice. isn't that just a fucking hoot. thanks for helping your soldier try to give a shit about his own career. thanks for being a good NCO SUPPORT CHANNEL you fucking retarded useless good for nothing hacks! god what does it take to actually be in a chain of command, to actually have people put in charge of you who genuinely gives a fucking shit about their soldiers and do what they can to help them and do all that bullshit in the nco creed?
oh wait! thats right. we're in the new army! they don't give a shit unless it pertains to me army! fuck the world. fuck my soldiers! fuck my officers! fuck everyone unless what i do is gonna benefit me. again i find myself wondering why i give a shit to try to make this a career. why do i try to give a shit to be something that i absolutely loathe and hate. a nco. a noncommishioned officer. aka a backstabber. a lazy fat slob. a piece of shit, that does nothing all day but beat on their soldiers to make themselves feel better. oh wait. the fucking soldiers are no better. if you've seen the new breed then you can see why it would be easy to just give into that stage. but fuck you too the stripes for a reason right? you spent all that time memorizing a creed that you should hold dear, and fuck! actually try to uphold. the nco creed. you remember that? did you give a shit, or was it just a pay raise for you. was it just something to do to get out of that private structure so you could get your turn with the whoppin stick?
here i got people praising me for doing an outstanding job of cross training as a food inspector and proving doubts and fears wrong about what type of tech i thought i wasn't. people thanking me for my hard work one minute, and how i've adjusted, then fucking loosing something that would better able me to assist them better.
why do i care? i mean really. i try and i try, and yet our time here draws closer to an end, and my promotable status is slipping faster and faster from me. i should be angry. i should be furious. but i somehow expected this. i knew something would happen. i went from one command that didn't want me to re-enlist to another who is just not giving a shit about helping me with my career. and the funny thing is, i am trying now. i am trying my damnedest to be a good soldier, and future sergeant. i am actually trying to be something i think i could do better than so many other people i have seen with that grade of high responsibility.
heh. here i sit. finding myself giving two shits less most of the time now. yeah...fuck it.
i'm goin to bed...
posted by zefyur @ 9:32 AM,
1 Comments:
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At 1:56 PM,
said...
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Sorry to hear about the promotion thing hun. Don't give up just yet, you have come so far, ya know? Besides, think how much fun it will be to rub that rank in everyone's faces once they get their heads outta their asses long enough to help ya get it. Like I've said before, you will make a good NCO, just be patient :)